Your Silence is Your Judge - Rebecca Belew

I know it seems stupid obvious, but I'm getting MAJOR Endo vibes here with the whole these of silence and God's lack of direction.

Just like Rodrigues fought with it, Elisha fights with his personal relationship with God and the way he sees God. Often times he goes back on what he said previously in order to combat his own confusion. He says, "God, on the other hand, has no eyes at all." But later, he compares God to death, claiming that maybe God was nothing but eyes. God is seeing, but not speaking. The torture Rodrigues goes through is external, but Elisha tortures himself internally. Either way, by torture or by murder, both have become dead to who they used to be.

The entire novel is taking place over the course of one night, and yet it feels like the eyes around Elisha are turning it into an eternity. The eyes of the spirits around him are watching, but not explaining much of anything. Their presence is illusive and confusing, just like God's presence is to Elisha as he's attempting to justify killing a man that has done close to nothing to him or his close relations. Just like God's presence is to Rodrigues who feels and hears nothing in his cells, wasting away, day by day. Elisha's trying to put the weight of his past hatred and despair onto another being to justify the murder of another like him. Rodrigues is trying to bear the undeserved hatred of someone else's past.

On second thought, maybe Rodrigues also relates to John Dawson, and John Dawson related to Elisha. John Dawson is not an evil man in and of himself, and Elisha sees much of himself in John Dawson. It's not that John Dawson has done anything horrific - or, at least it's not specified if he did -, he's simply a man that has been taken in order to show a sign of power. But isn't this exactly what happened to Elisha? He had done nothing wrong, he was only the victim, never the executor, yet just as life brought John Dawson to a prison cell for little or no reason, life brought Elisha to the position of a killer. Fueled by hatred and revenge, or maybe simple-minded obedience, Elisha killed others. He killed groups of people with his comrades; he never looked his victim in the eye to shoot them before. Elisha struggles with this, he didn't consider himself a killer before this, but now, in cold blood, he shoots a man who's only crime was that life brought him into the streets on the wrong night.

Elisha hears nothing from God. Elisha sees only death. Elisha is panic-stricken and only knows to follow orders. Elisha is silent. Elisha is judged. Elisha is dead.

Comments: Moriah & Hailey

Comments

Jamie Peters said…
I am so glad I was not the only one who thought of this! In that small moment in which the trigger is pulled, John says one word: Elisha. In the next moment, John/Elisha comes to stand amongst the living dead in Elisha's mind, signifying his final phase into a full supporter of the Movement.
Caroline Tucker said…
Rebecca, I love this post. You did a great job expressing your thoughts! I also connected “Silence” to “Dawn”. My favorite part is when the ghost of his younger self said that the silence is not the ghosts judging him but the silence is him judging himself.
Logan Turner said…
The parallels between Dawn and Silence are certainly striking. After all, in both stories, it seems like there is just indifference in the world, even though a man is literally dead or dying. The thing is, the silence that both of these stories utilize is louder than anything else because, when left alone with our imagination, our minds conjure up things far worse than any reality. I think that is largely why these two stories in particular affected us so deeply.